Do you own a suit?

I’m not a model. I just want to begin with a mutual understanding of the circumstances.

A friend asked me to model for his portfolio and I’ve been putting it off for months. I just wasn’t interested. Despite any assumptions, I don’t love getting my photo taken. Mostly I dread the idea that someone has access to a 30+ MP raw file of me to play with in Lightroom.

This bun is single-handedly my greatest accomplishment of 2020.

I’ve become quite particular in the way that I choose to present myself. Quite recently though, as it’s become necessary to meet to people, ironically enough, during the COVID-19 pandemic, I’ve received similar comments. The feedback is generally along the lines of: “you are different to the images of yourself on Instagram”. When probed deeper, it is not the case that my portraits are vastly different from my true likeliness but that the image that I’ve unconsciously constructed on my Instagram is stoic, cold, aloof and impersonable.

Can we acknowledge the effort of putting all this hair into a bun?

It’s true I find it hard to introduce myself first but I hope that, for the people who have met me, I’m pleasant enough in conversation. Anyways, I thought why not run with the concept of being emotionally unavailable and distant and make it a theme for the photoshoot when my friend asked me again.

We all know how much I love a good reflection
Friend: “do you own a suit?”; Me: “you don’t?”

These photos were edited by me. My friend was nice enough to send me the raws so we can compare how we’ll edit and present the final images. (I’ll do a separate post on this later.)

I take a lot of things personally. I get a lot of feedback on how unapproachable I am from people who know me and people who want to know me. I’ve decided just to be the first one to say hello to the people I want to know. It seems to me that so many people are scared of a problem that only exists in their heads.

This was a long form way to say thank you to @yvr_portraits for the photos and to show off my hair bun. My secret? Hairspray, prayer and patience.

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